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Through The Vast Unknown
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2
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"What's that noise?" says Debbie.
"It's Suzanne out of The Human League. I told you."
"Not that. That - sort of - screaming noise..?" Debbie gets up off the
bed and moves round the room in a metaphysical trance.
"It's coming through this wall," she says, pressing her ear against the
woodchip. "What's through here?"
"That's the bog," says Julie.
"Oh," says the other Julie, "That'll be Frances, then. I put superglue on
the toilet seat before."
"Nice one," says Debbie. "Let's raid her room while she's still stuck."
After picking the lock with Julie's hammer, the girls start a systematic
search of Frances's room.
"Hobnobs," says Debbie, holding up her trophy, "Chocolate ones."
Julie disappears into the wardrobe. "Hey," she shouts, muffled by
clothing, "there's a forest back here. And like, a witch, and stuff..."
Her voice gets smaller and she doesn't reappear.
"Stop messing, Julie," says the other Julie. "It's only a matter of time
before Frances leaves a layer of skin on the toilet seat and catches us.
We've got to work fast." She tugs out a drawer and it drops on her feet.
"My Docs!" she yells. "I've only recently painted them." She starts to
rummage.
"There's just fluff and her collection of My Guy's under here," says
Debbie, hanging her head off the edge of Frances's bed. "What've you got,
Julie?" She looks up, her face red.
"Er...I'm not sure..." says Julie, holding up a contraption of rubber
bits and pieces, tubes and suction cups.
"Home abortion kit," says Debbie. "Put it back. She might not have washed
it properly."
Julie drops it back in the drawer and wipes her hands on one of Frances's
Ozric Tentacles T-shirts.
Debbie empties the pillow out of its case. Some money bounces out onto
the duvet. "Four pound seventy-five!" she says. "Bingo!"
"Nice one," says Julie. "Come on. Let's go." She holds up a can of
hairspray proudly.
"You haven't got any hair, Julie," says Debbie.
"There's a spider on my bedroom curtains, though. This stuff makes a
great blowtorch. Got any matches?"
"Come on Julie!" yells Debbie into the wardrobe. "You know the drill. We
go in, we do the job, we get out. Three minutes."
Julie bursts out of the rack of coats and dresses.
"Did you miss me?" she says. "I've been gone for five years. And I've had
such adventures!"
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3