+----+ +++++++++++++++++++++++++ +----+
| |---+ The Toast Mailing List | |---+
| | | +++++++++++++++++++++++++ | | |
+----+ | +----+ |
+----+ +----+
Welcome to the toast mailing list. This list is for the discussion
of toast, toast toppings, toasters, bread types for toast, optimal
toast cooking, toast in literature and song and famous people who
like toast. Please stay on topic. The topic is toast.
If you ever want to remove yourself from the world of toast mailing
list, you can send mail to with the
following command in the body of your email message:
unsubscribe toast
or from another account, besides someone@missprint.org:
unsubscribe toast someone@missprint.org
If you ever need help with the list or with cooking toast, please
contact your Toast Mistress listed on the web page.
We hope you have a pleasant stay with us, and your journey leads to a
better understanding and enjoyment of toast.
---
As an introduction to the list, for now let me bring you the current
archives of the list. This should initiate you into the rules of
engagement for good toastal experiences, introducing you to some of
the major figures of the Toast World in the 21st century. Please
don't be intimidated by their erudite manner and inexhaustible
knowledge of toast: if you sit at their feet for long enough and
learn the Ways Of Toast from the masters and mistresses on this list,
you too might become a Toast Apprentice, and one day, a Toaster in
your own right.
---
From: owner-toast-digest@missprint.org (toast-digest)
To: toast-digest@missprint.org
Subject: toast-digest V1 #1
toast-digest Saturday, January 15 2000 Volume 01 : Number 001
In your latest Toast digest:
Toast: toast [honey@missprint.org]
Toast: hmm [honey@missprint.org]
Toast: Welcome to toast (fwd) [honey@missprint.org]
Toast: toast myths [honey@missprint.org]
Toast: toast as talisman [honey@missprint.org]
Re: Toast: toast as talisman ["Linda Kerr" ]
Toast: toast ["Linda Kerr" ]
Toast: toast erotica [Damon Seils ]
Toast: toast anxiety ["Benjamin M. Poremski" ]
Re: Toast: toast as talisman [honey@missprint.org]
Re: Toast: toast as talisman [honey@missprint.org]
Toast: Topping [=?iso-8859-1?q?Sarah=20Clarke?= ]
Re: Toast: toast anxiety [Damon Seils ]
RE: Toast: toast as talisman ["Benjamin M. Poremski" ]
Re: Toast: toast anxiety ["Benjamin M. Poremski" ]
Re: Toast: toast anxiety [honey@missprint.org]
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2000 23:39:35 +0000 (GMT)
From: honey@missprint.org
Subject: Toast: toast
You are formally invited to join a new mailing list at missprint.org.
It has three members so far but will expand rapidly. There's
currently Miss Honey, Miss Lulou and Mr Damon. The mailing list is
about toast. It's called "toast".
To join send "subscribe toast" to majordomo@missprint.org. Please
read the welcome instructions, it's a very strict on-topic list. Any
deviations from toast will be immediately stopped.
Miss Honey
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+
+---+ Brought to you by the Toast mailing list +---+
+---- What do YOU have on it? +---+
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2000 23:35:51 +0000 (GMT)
From: honey@missprint.org
Subject: Toast: hmm
This might be off-topic, but I think I like marmalade on it most.
What does everyone else think?
Miss Honey
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+
+---+ Brought to you by the Toast mailing list +---+
+---- What do YOU have on it? +---+
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2000 00:27:23 +0000 (GMT)
From: honey@missprint.org
Subject: Toast: Welcome to toast (fwd)
I've changed the list's manifesto a little so I thought it only fair
to send it on to my subscribers. I expect this list will be massive
soon, so it's important to get these things smoothed out beforehand.
Here it is. Thank you loyal subscribers and toast fans.
Miss Honey-On-Toast x
+----+ +++++++++++++++++++++++++ +----+
| |---+ The Toast Mailing List | |---+
| | | +++++++++++++++++++++++++ | | |
+----+ | +----+ |
+----+ +----+
Welcome to the toast mailing list. This list is for the discussion
of toast, toast toppings, toasters, bread types for toast, optimal
toast cooking, toast in literature and song and famous people who
like toast. Please stay on topic. The topic is toast.
If you ever want to remove yourself from the world of toast mailing
list, you can send mail to with the
following command in the body of your email message:
unsubscribe toast
or from another account, besides someone@missprint.org:
unsubscribe toast someone@missprint.org
If you ever need help with the list or with cooking toast, please
contact your Toast Mistress listed on the webpage.
We hope you have a pleasant stay with us, and your journey leads to a
better understanding and enjoyment of toast.
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2000 03:53:47 +0000 (GMT)
From: honey@missprint.org
Subject: Toast: toast myths
Well I can't sleep so here's a toast fact I've found for you. I think
this demonstrates again just how unfounded and vindictive the smears of
toast-haters are. They're just jealous of our Love For Toast. Let
the truth be told.
Miss Honey-On-Toast xxx
- --- a "kilojoule-increasing supplement" ---
http://www.med.monash.edu.au/medicine/mmc/books/fqa-book/ch4/4-22.htm
"Toast is more fattening than bread"
False. On a slice-for-slice basis there is no difference between the
kilojoule content of toast and bread. Bread and toast, like other
foods, can contribute to excess body fat if we overstep our energy
(kilojoule) requirements by eating too much. Toast and bread contain
about 250 kilojoules per slice. However, we usually eat them with
kilojoule-increasing supplements. For example, toast with butter and
honey contains about 920 kilojoules, whereas without the butter,
toast and honey only has 620 kilojoules.
Toasting slightly reduces some of the nutrients in bread, but this is
unlikely to be of nutritional significance.
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2000 04:12:28 +0000 (GMT)
From: honey@missprint.org
Subject: Toast: toast as talisman
Two things before I sleep:
(1) I don't like pages like this:
Frequently Asked Questions About Toast:
http://www.slc.edu/~pgriff/faqat.html
It's flippant and belittles toast. It's not funny and I don't intend
to litter our list with this sort of stuff: just a warning. This
list is not about toast jokes, it's about toast.
(2) Now this is more like it:
"What I've Learned From Toast" by Alan Burdick, New York Times
http://www.drtoast.com/burdick.html
"To toast, then, is to ritually re-enact, daily and in miniature, the
American dream itself. Each morning, in a small corner of the
kitchen, the transformation of bread into cake prefigures (we hope)
our own successful assault upon the social ladder. It is as if, by
toasting, we ourselves might be toasted.
Toast thus serves as a talismanic reminder of human potential. To the
Willy Lomans and Ralph Kramdens of the world, destined as they are to
ashen lives, an encounter with toast can never be more than a tragic
experience. To the rest of us, it is a call to arms. The bell sounds,
the toast springs up, the scent of a golden future wafts before us
like an omen."
There's a lot more toast links out there, let's not blow them all at
once. In a couple of weeks my calculations show that there will be
approximately 10,000 lovers of toast on this list, and they'll all be
toast novices: let's keep back the best toast facts we find til
then.
Miss Honey-on-Toast xxx
- --
"Good things keep popping up"
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2000 11:23:24 -0000
From: "Linda Kerr"
Subject: Re: Toast: toast as talisman
hello
I would like to introduce myself. I am 34 and live in Scotland. My
favourite toasts are :
1. toast-and-butter
2. toast-and-butter-and-cheese-spread
3. toast-and-butter-and marmelade
4. just toast
I used to think that toast coudlonly be accompanied by tea. Now I
feel that a more sophisticated toast experience can be obtained by
havign coffee too. But only if the bread is of a suffiecient quality.
The best toast and tea combimation can be obtained with Scottish
plain bread and butter and strong *hot* tea.
What do others think?
Regards
lulou
ps are "croutons" "toast"?
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2000 13:50:51 -0000
From: "Linda Kerr"
Subject: Toast: toast
Come on toast fans...
What is your first toast related memory?
lulou toast
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2000 09:35:46 -0500
From: Damon Seils
Subject: Toast: toast erotica
Hi, everyone.
I'm new here. Well, actually, I joined yesterday, so I've been lurking for
a while. I am 26 and I live in North Carolina. We have toast here. I really
like this list.
My favorite ways to have toast are...
1. with butter and jam
2. with cheese and a fried egg
3. with butter alone
Are there any toast lovers' conventions?
Damon
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2000 09:44:50 -0500
From: "Benjamin M. Poremski"
Subject: Toast: toast anxiety
Is there some sort of agony aunt-type who can help me with personal
problems of a toast-related nature?
The reason I ask is because my flatmate believes that toast is only
appropriate for salvaging stale bread, disguising the dessicated, crunchy
qualities of stale slices by warming and browning them. I was shocked, as
toasted stale bread seems an insult to both wholesome sliced bread AND
toast. Does anyone regularly use the toasting process to resurrect dead
husks of bread slices?
By the way, thank you, honey, for providing us with this vehicle for
discussing our toast issues. I had been most intimidated by the existance of
"Toastmasters International," because while I believe I'm not a novice in
the use of toast and toastmaking technology, it seemed a bit egotistical to
take the liberty of calling myself a Toast "Master." I had figured you had
to be appointed a Toast "Master," like a Mason or a Lord, either that or you
had to serve some sort of formal apprenticeship. The anxiety this engendered
has made it impossible for me to look at that organization's website
(www.toastmasters.org), so I want to again express my gratitude to honey for
allowing us more modest toastophiles a foothold on the bottom rung of the
internet toast ladder.
Best when browned,
Ben
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2000 14:48:37 +0000 (GMT)
From: honey@missprint.org
Subject: Re: Toast: toast as talisman
A few things from the toast mistress. Lulou, you're very welcome on
this list: your toast credentials might be in doubt but your keenness
for toast is obvious. But unlike *other* lists you might have been
on, spelling and grammatical errors will not be tolerated here. I
quote:
> I used to think that toast coudlonly be accompanied by tea. Now I
^^^
> feel that a more sophisticated toast experience can be obtained by
> havign coffee too. But only if the bread is of a suffiecient quality.
^^^ ^^^
>
> The best toast and tea combimation can be obtained with Scottish
^^^
> plain bread and butter and strong *hot* tea.
Please pay more attention in future. Such errors might lead to toast
accident around the home, or other toast-based mishaps and I don't
want to see an embittered long battle in court.
However, you raise an interesting issue about croutons. Are croutons
"toast"? They can be "bits" of toast certainly, but we need to
consider if toastness lies in its mere substance, or it's form too
(rectangular, toast-sized). In this instance I will tolerate
discussion of list content on the list.
Our new members, Tim Toast and Ben Toast might be able to contribute
to this debate. I'm also very hopeful that a previous waffle list owner,
JohnFM Waffletoast may join too. He seems to have lots to say about
toast and toast hydrids and I'd welcome his contribution. He's also
suggested quite sensibly that our method of sending mails to this
list should be described as "poasting". I concur, and copy this
message to him now with the greatest respect.
Brandt, a non-toaster has just asked "but how much can anyone say
about toast?". I don't we need doubt from the evidence so far that
the answer is "an inexhaustible amount".
Damon the answer on the conventions question is: "not YET".
Honey-on-Toast xxx
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2000 14:50:56 +0000 (GMT)
From: honey@missprint.org
Subject: Re: Toast: toast as talisman
By the way I hope you noticed the deliberate grammatical errors in MY
mail there. This discussion will now cease.
Honey-on-Toast
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2000 14:58:24 +0000 (GMT)
From: =?iso-8859-1?q?Sarah=20Clarke?=
Subject: Toast: Topping
Dear Toasties,
Nutella on Toast, butter on toast, sunflower spread on toast, Heinz "Toppers"
(ha! anything but!) on toast....the versatility of toast is GRATE. But yet what
is the ULTIMATE topping? In honour of Beanz Geddes one night I tried the well
true beanz on toast formula. I found it lacking. The time haz come for NEW
TOPPERS! But what? A cheese based variant maybe..?
Incidentally, I like lightly toasted toast. Burnt toast sux.
See my use of trendy toast-eque missspellings, missprintontoast?
StarryToast
xo
____________________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Get your free @yahoo.co.uk address at http://mail.yahoo.co.uk
or your free @yahoo.ie address at http://mail.yahoo.ie
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2000 10:02:30 -0500
From: Damon Seils
Subject: Re: Toast: toast anxiety
Re: Benjamin's concerns regarding the use of toasting to disguise staleness...
I too have heard the stale-bread-makes-great-toast claim, and I agree that
the mere idea is an affront to breads generally. Having said this, I should
admit that I have found that stale bread makes for a wonderful French
toast, especially when a firm, thickly sliced white bread is not readily available.
Hmm. Is French toast toast? I say aye. But what does this do for our
consideration of croutons?
Yours,
ToastedTart
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2000 10:01:09 -0500
From: "Benjamin M. Poremski"
Subject: RE: Toast: toast as talisman
My neurosis, already chased on to unimaginable levels by the toast paradox I
express earlier (viz., how significant is the similarity of certainly
qualities shared by toast and merely stale bread), reached a new plateau
with this:
> But unlike *other* lists you might have been
> on, spelling and grammatical errors will not be tolerated here.
... which found its way into my mailbox immediately after I had noticed my
"misspelling" of "existence" as "existance." It was not a misspelling, as
such; it was a clever Heideggerian device, the purpose of which is clearly
evident to anyone who enjoys thinly sliced split-topped with butter and
lemon curd, but I realize may not have been as obvious to some of you, or to
me, really.
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2000 10:02:33 -0500
From: "Benjamin M. Poremski"
Subject: Re: Toast: toast anxiety
French toast is not toast, properly considered. I will leave it to my
English toasties to state what that means for French people.
- ----- Original Message -----
From: Damon Seils
To:
Sent: Wednesday, January 12, 2000 10:02 AM
Subject: Re: Toast: toast anxiety
>
> Re: Benjamin's concerns regarding the use of toasting to disguise
staleness...
>
> I too have heard the stale-bread-makes-great-toast claim, and I agree that
> the mere idea is an affront to breads generally. Having said this, I
should
> admit that I have found that stale bread makes for a wonderful French
> toast, especially when a firm, thickly sliced white bread is not readily
available.
>
> Hmm. Is French toast toast? I say aye. But what does this do for our
> consideration of croutons?
>
>
> Yours,
>
> ToastedTart
>
> +----+ +++++++++++++++++++++++++ +----+
> | |---+ The Toast Mailing List | |---+
> | | | What do YOU have on it? | | |
> +----+ | +++++++++++++++++++++++++ +----+ |
> +----+ +----+
>
------------------------------
Date: Sat, 15 Jan 2000 14:21:15 +0000 (GMT)
From: honey@missprint.org
Subject: Re: Toast: toast anxiety
Benjamin M. Poremski said:
> French toast is not toast, properly considered. I will leave it to my
> English toasties to state what that means for French people.
Sorry for the long delay in replying to this message. Major domestic
disaster: I've had to completely disassemble my Sunbeam, Model 3816
(http://www.toaster.org/1980.html) after it suffered a slightly
asymmetric toasting profile across a British Standard Breadslice.
Happily it's now working ok after three days in pieces on the kitchen
table: pretty scary though, never knowing if you're going to bite
into something a bit too crispy or a bit too pale.
What's your favourite setting, toast enthusiasts? Mine's 6.85.
Back to Ben's question: the annals of toast history clearly show that
toast was invented in 1106 in Up-town, The Wyrral, Mercia by Sir Edmund
de Toaste. Contrary to prior claims he did NOT bring the invention of
toast from France during the Norman Conquest: his name was merely an
affectation in deference to the invaders and his blood was purely
Anglo-Saxon. It's highly likely he was a descendant of Alfred The
Great himself who burned the cakes in an early unsuccessful toast
experiment. Edmund had long sought to defend the memory of his
ancestor who he maintained was conducting a culinary experiment. Any
dissent from this Early History Of Toast on this list will not be
tolerated.
I'm debating making it a list rule that we refer to "toast" by its
TRUE original spelling, "toaste" but it would mean changing the list
name: let's keep it as "toast" for now, but bear in mind the
linguistic error we're making please.
Honey-on-Toast
------------------------------
End of toast-digest V1 #1
*************************
+----+ +++++++++++++++++++++++++ +----+
| |---+ The Toast Mailing List | |---+
| | | What do YOU have on it? | | |
+----+ | +++++++++++++++++++++++++ +----+ |
+----+ +----+
From: owner-toast-digest@missprint.org (toast-digest)
To: toast-digest@missprint.org
Subject: toast-digest V1 #2
toast-digest Thursday, January 20 2000 Volume 01 : Number 002
In your latest Toast digest:
Toast: Up Town Toast [=?iso-8859-1?q?Sarah=20Clarke?=
Subject: Toast: Up Town Toast
Dear Toasties,
> asymmetric toasting profile across a British Standard Breadslice.
Well I am glad that the British Standard Breadslice was brought up. As you all
know, there is a Popular Beat Combo of Himbos currently STONKING on up the
charts called the *ahem* 'Back Street Boys', abbreiviated to BSBs. Which of
course is also the INTERNATIONAL STANDARD SHORTENED FORM of, of course, our
favourite Bread Measurement. So I was writing a letter one day all about toast,
what else, and I wrote I *heart* (the) BSB...and now all my friends (friend...
well...maybe) think I am a big fan of teenybopper boy bands WHO PROBABLY
WOULDN'T KNOW A TOASTING FOR IF IT WAS SHOVED UP THEIR ARSES!
Actually I know for a fact that they wouldn't know it was a toasting fork. I
kept asking them WHAT IS IT!!! WHAT HAVE I SHOVED UP YOUR FEEBLE PUNY
BUMHOLES??? WHAT!!!!! And they just kept screaming.
> What's your favourite setting, toast enthusiasts? Mine's 6.85.
Well if we do need to use toasters instead of ye olde toast fire, AND FORK,
mine would be a very light 2.5. Covered in spread. Not real butter, I find its
lack of spreading action most unsatisfactory. Currently I am using Sainsburys
'organic' sunflower spread - them having run out of my usual glowing purple
genetically modified Olivio. Grown from the olives of days old test tubes.
Byee
StarryToast
____________________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Get your free @yahoo.co.uk address at http://mail.yahoo.co.uk
or your free @yahoo.ie address at http://mail.yahoo.ie
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 17 Jan 2000 16:05:47 -0800 (PST)
From: =?iso-8859-1?q?Tim=20Hopkins?=
Subject: Toast: By the time I get to Phoenix...
...she'll be toasting.
Hot Buttered Soul.
Phhhtthht. This darned toast list is full of
literal-minded poltroons.
Toast, people. Toast is nothing but a word and the
word has many meanings. It is a veritable toasty
kaleidoscope and you lot are peering down it with both
of your eyes closed. Yeah.
The greatest toast in the world? Unquestionably Sir
Lord Comic's classic toast 'Jack Of My Trade' over the
classic Treasure Isle 'You Don't Care' / 'Barbwire'
rhythm. Perhaps the finest start to a record ever as
Sir Lord (as we, his mates, call him) declaims:
"What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and
suffer the loss of his own soul? As the farmer said to
the potato, I'll plant you now and eat you later.
Wow." He was the senior lecturer in the faculty of
soul, you know.
Toast, indeed, occupies a central role in popular
culture. Who can forget that the hateful Paul Young
began his pop career with the Streetband performing
the too-easily-dismissed-as-a-novelty-record called,
well, 'Toast'. He went on, of course, to launch the
careers of budding songsmiths like Tom Waits, Marvin
Gaye and Wison Pickett with his cannily-picked
before-they-were-famous choices from struggling
writers. Did you know that the Lone Ranger's trusty
sidekick was originally to be called Croutonto? Or
that the Rolling Stones (featuring Keef 'Morphy'
Richards) originally wrote 'Sympathy For The Breville'
but were forced by Andrew Loog Oldham to change it. He
was a well-known breadhead, and hated toast in all its
forms except (ugh) raw. Did you know that? Did you?
You probably didn't. Bunch of dilettantes. I was
eating toast before you were on solids. If you are on
solids. You probably have to have your toast soaked in
milk like bleddy rusks. The soldiers I dipped in *my*
boiled eggs fought at bleddy Agincourt, mate.
I can't believe the things some of you say about
toast. I had toast round my house the other day and,
let me tell you now, it was really, really nice. Until
you know toast personally you haven't the right to
make any kind of comment. That's all. You Farley's
munching scum.
Tim
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Talk to your friends online with Yahoo! Messenger.
http://im.yahoo.com
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 20 Jan 2000 14:58:15 -0800 (PST)
From: =?iso-8859-1?q?Tim=20Hopkins?=
Subject: Toast: ooh mister claypole
Who remembers watching Rentatoast? What about Toastman
Pat? Sesame Toast Street?
This mail has been brought to you by Poor Qual Puns
Inc., London.
Tim
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Talk to your friends online with Yahoo! Messenger.
http://im.yahoo.com
------------------------------
End of toast-digest V1 #2
*************************
+----+ +++++++++++++++++++++++++ +----+
| |---+ The Toast Mailing List | |---+
| | | What do YOU have on it? | | |
+----+ | +++++++++++++++++++++++++ +----+ |
+----+ +----+
From: owner-toast-digest@missprint.org (toast-digest)
To: toast-digest@missprint.org
Subject: toast-digest V1 #3
toast-digest Monday, April 24 2000 Volume 01 : Number 003
In your latest Toast digest:
Toast: toast [The Fragrant World Of Princess Honey ]
Toast: t!o!a!s!t! [jj ]
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Sun, 16 Apr 2000 14:12:32 +0100 (BST)
From: The Fragrant World Of Princess Honey
Subject: Toast: toast
toast. mmm.
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 24 Apr 2000 13:15:12 -0500
From: jj
Subject: Toast: t!o!a!s!t!
Hi, I'm 29 and live in Kansas City. I have not yet finished reading
the archives of this fine toast list but I'm too excited to wait to
poast, er post.
Toast, how I love thee. Ask anyone who knows me, toast is one of my
most favoritest foods in the world. I often get late night toast cravings,
particularly after being out a gig and having a drink or two. But toast
is good at anytime of the day or night. I like it best just with butter,
but with nutella for a special treat. And toast with a teensy bit of mayo
and sliced fresh roma tomatoes, that's very nice too. And with peanut
butter for a bit more substantial of a snack. Yum. Pizza toast is also
lovely, with spaghetti sauce and cheese.
My toaster
(www.target.com/Target/images/product/050875509535_990603b_l.jpg) was one
of the best wedding presents we got. Someday I aspire to own a chrome
Dualit toaster
(http://a1412.g.akamai.net/7/1412/243/0008/www3.williams-sonoma.com/products
/M/N/s1106814-2hl.jpg), but its hard to justify spending $300+ on something
that just toasts bread, no matter how important toast is.
Ok my lunch hour is over. It is time for me to drive back to work. Thank
you Honeytoast for starting this list. I am excited to find others as
excited about toast as I am. Most of my friends think I'm crazy when I talk
about the merits of toast. They're just silly though. Someday they'll see
the light.
Goodbye,
xojj
* * * http://www.monkey.org/~jj * * *
------------------------------
End of toast-digest V1 #3
*************************
+----+ +++++++++++++++++++++++++ +----+
| |---+ The Toast Mailing List | |---+
| | | What do YOU have on it? | | |
+----+ | +++++++++++++++++++++++++ +----+ |
+----+ +----+
From: owner-toast-digest@missprint.org (toast-digest)
To: toast-digest@missprint.org
Subject: toast-digest V1 #4
toast-digest Thursday, April 27 2000 Volume 01 : Number 004
In your latest Toast digest:
Toast: A Welcome Toast ["David Moore" ]
Toast: An invitation to Toast [Honey-On-Toast ]
Toast: toastie, or not toastie? ["Kevan Cooke" ]
RE: Toast: toastie, or not toastie? [Mark Casarotto ]
Toast: Hot buttered bell ends [Nick.Dastoor@guardian.co.uk]
Toast: toast! [Linda Kerr ]
Toast: Eat my crusts [=?iso-8859-1?q?Michael=20Jones?= ]
Toast: toast: toast: toast: etc... [Mark Casarotto
Subject: Toast: A Welcome Toast
Greetings Fellow Toasties,
Am I stupid & unobservant, (OK, thanks Tim) or do the instructions not
contain an address for poasting?
Forgive me for picking up on er, stale threads (or are they called slices
here?) but many loaves ago Miss Lulou asked if croûtons were toast, so I
sought an opinion from Escoffier, who replied
"Croûtons are 1/2 cm (1/5 in) dice of bread fried in clarified butter, where
possible, just before serving."
Cesarani & Kinton concurred. So I guess that's settled then: they're not.
As to the fresh or stale argument, in my opinion very fresh bread makes for
poor (soggy) toast, so a modicum of ageing is desirable if you like a
satisfying crunch when you bite (which I do.)
So many questions spring to mind, amongst which:
can I really be on this list if I don't ever use a toaster? (have 2 -
wedding presents, but always use the grill/salamander/broiler)
are toasted sandwiches a suitable topic for discussion?
Recent toast experiences:
A considerable while ago, recorded I Roy's "Truths & Rights" for a fat
erudite drunk.
Yesterday, 2 slices of granary, pretty well done (checked mail instead of
watching grill) topped with butter & generous helping of Frank Cooper's
Vintage Oxford Marmalade.
Today, 2 slices of wholemeal, smothered in (too many, approaching use by
date) eggs scrambled with a nut of butter, salt, freshly ground black pepper
& grated nutmeg. Nisbets of Bristol supply a fantastic heat resistant rubber
spatula that you can stir the eggs with & prevent them sticking, and it
never burns or melts! They also supply a large range of Dualit toasters,
with next day delivery!
Eek, a dear diary post already!
Yours (rotundly),
David Moore
Chelmsford, UK
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 25 Apr 2000 00:14:28 +0100 (BST)
From: Honey-On-Toast
Subject: Toast: An invitation to Toast
You are hereby invited to join a mailing list about toast on
missprint.org. Its beginnings, now shrouded in mist, were as a
misspelt "test" list, appropriately enough on a misspelt domain name,
and at the time of its initiation, the few I asked to assist me in
testing the new domain worked valiantly to give the list its unique
essence, and, if I may say, flavour; but the list quickly fell into
disuse by the pressures of the world, the evil machinations of
toast-haters and the fact that hardly anyone was on it.
Due to recent personal incapacities and the saddening somewhat
dissipation of places for old friends to meet, after much consideration
I feel now is the time to declare the glory of Toast from the rooftops
and open the list to those who may also appreciate the greatness of all
things toastal. In Toast we may yet find a force that binds us
together. If you too feel a love for toast springing from every muscle
in your finely toned body, please join; you may find old acquaintances
and friends from other distant forums, all reunited in Toast Heaven to
proclaim the salvation of that King of all Breaded Experiences. On
joining you will be sent a copy of the archives from the early days of
toast which should orientate you. Please do not think there have been
no poasts(*) since these early days; the fact that this statement is
true in no way detracts from its utter falsehood.
This list of recipients is unashamedly thrown together from the dim
cluttered cellars of my own mind, starved for so long of good nutrients
such as flour, yeast, and salt of sufficient quality: faithful bread
lovers are invited to carefully and with good faith extend the circle
by passing on this mail to others who may be known to us all. If you
are aware of other toast lovers or toast curious individuals who will
be well-known to this esteemed gathering already, then please do with
care to the spirit of the forum invite them to join too, especially if
they have been on other mailing lists familiar to us all for a long
time. Those receiving this message passed on from a toast member
should consider themselves no less partakers of the ways of toast and
of favour in the Great Toast Hierarchy. Yea! verily for we are equal
in the eyes of Toast. For where two or more people gather to break
bread and make toast together, there shall I be too.
Come then, join Masters Damon, Benjamin, Timothy, Giles, David and
Mistresses Lulou, Starry, and jj in the ways of Toast and revive us.
To join the list, please send a mail to majordomo@missprint.org saying
"subscribe toast" in the body of the mail; then send mails to
toast@missprint.org. A digest list is also available, if you find
single helpings of toast unsatisfying and prefer the whole loaf.
In due course, when the list balloons into one of the biggest online
bread-based communities on the internet, as I confidently predict, I
might cast the net wider and see if we can attract some serious
toast-lovers from some of the many toastal WWW sites on the net; at
that time the detractors will gnash their teeth, rent their clothing
and be heard to mutter "Truly, toast is indeed the fundamental element
on which our pitiful lives are based. We were so wrong, so misled, so
miserable in our toastless existence. Oh carbonated bread-based
product we hail you, hail you, oh toast!".
Your High Toast Mistress,
Honey-on-Toast xxx
* see the archives for a explanation of this important term
+----+ +++++++++++++++++++++++++ +----+
| |---+ The Toast Mailing List | |---+
| | | What do YOU have on it? | | |
+----+ | +++++++++++++++++++++++++ +----+ |
+----+ +----+
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 25 Apr 2000 02:29:15 -0700
From: "Kevan Cooke"
Subject: Toast: toastie, or not toastie?
hello fellow toast lovers,
my name is kevan, i am 30 years old, and presently live in the
middle of a large construction site in hampshire, england. my
favourite toast topping would be marmite, preferably washed down
with cold milk.
just yesterday an unfortunate easter incident led to my pondering
the possibility of purchasing a new toaster of the "think and thin"
variety. over the course of the easter weekend it became apparent
that my current toaster was ill-equipped for the heating of hot
cross buns. whilst the appliance willingly accepted two sliced
halves of a hot cross bun into it's front and rear slots, it was
less willing to give them up again, leading to the use of a bread
knife to forcibly retrieve them.
has anyone else here had similar experiences? perhaps someone could
recommend a suitable toaster to avoid such incidents? preferably
something cheaper than the crome dualit coveted by jj toast.
the placing of a sliced hot cross bun into the toaster was in no
way a first - i often place bread based foodstuffs other than the
sliced loaf variety into the toaster, with pitta bread being a
particular favourite. at the risk of being off-topic could i add
that my favourite pitta filling would be fromage frais and chilli
sauce, although i am also partial to hummous and olives. both
combinations would be accompanied by crisp iceberg lettuce. mmm.
bye,
kevan
***********************************
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------------------------------
Date: Tue, 25 Apr 2000 11:04:08 +0100
From: Mark Casarotto
Subject: RE: Toast: toastie, or not toastie?
I was going to wait a while longer and take in the full toast-ness of, you
know, stuff, but Kevantoast's letter spurred me into action.
Firstly, tsk, Kevan, you wrote it's instead of its. I once was described as
"semi-literate and shameful" for that very crime, and on this list it seems
you won't be able to get away with that sort of thing.
Secondly, my first ever internet buddy, who I met on the Stereolab toast
(toast with noodles) web-page, was called Valtoast. I believe toast was the
name of her dog, but as a forum for all toast types, from Gary Clail to the
3.40 from Towcester, it seems reasonable to mention the interweb-toast
interface.
Thirdly, I have to share my laments with you all. When I was living en
famille, I had full use of a lovely 3-slot dualit job, which, though not
perfect (the far right slot toasted notably less than its more enthusiastic
neighbour), did the business quickly and reliably (though one always has to
be aware of the warm-up period with a dualit - it can catch the uninitiated
off guard). Sadly, as I branch out into a world with all kinds of
bread-searing possibilities, I'm now forced to resort to a small, knackered
"toaster" (in the loosest sense of the word) which doesn't seem to like
toasting at all. Toasting takes an age and makes me sigh. Ho hum.
Enough, I think? I'm Mark and I'm 26.
xxx
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------------------------------
Date: Tue, 25 Apr 2000 04:26:24 -0700 (PDT)
From: =?iso-8859-1?q?GCFF?=
Subject: Toast: Bunny Themed Toast
Hiya,
I must say that my favourite toast treat is Cheese
on toast, or even more mmmm is cheese on toast with a
generous dash of Lea & Perrins, which also goes under
the name of welsh rabbit so i've been told.
Last night i had a good hours conversation on the
joys of toast with my best friend. He seems to
remember as a child being given something known as
"bunny" on toast which was a hot melted combination of
honey and butter on toast, which sounds quite
delicious and made me wish for all manner of toasted
treats while trying to sleep last night. You can't
just spread butter, then honey on the toast when
making "bunny" if you do so that's known as "honey on
toast" in my book, and is quite a different thing
altogether.
Now over the easter weekend i disappeared to the
Suffolk countryside and stayed with my parents in
their tiny pink cottage, and what lurked within was a
crazy toast eating beastie who i shall call 'dad' this
man has a love/hate relationship with toast. He enjoys
a fair bit of toasted bread, but he puts the toaster
to 8.5/9 and burns the toast!!!! Is this sacralige,
toast should be golden brown...not reduced to carbon
don't you agree? He then proceeds to butter the toast
and while enjoying his favourite TV programme, dunks
the buttered carbonised toast into his hot mug of tea,
causing damage to the toast and leaving a horrid layer
of oily butter in his tea. Clearly this is no way to
treat toast, and i gave the man a stark warning.
Today in the newspaper "The Daily Mirror" they tell
us to look out for..."Toast to boast about" I quote
"What would a girl be without the humble toaster? Very
hungry, that's what. But if you're still using an ugly
two slice toaster, it's time for an upgrade. This
stylish DeLonghi version is £49.99 - a veritable
bargain if you consider its deep wide slots, handy
frozen bread button, one side toasting option, two
crumb trays and six heat settings, non?"
I'll leave you with that. Kevan, with it's "deep
wide slots" i'm sure this should solve all your
toaster needs....I'm saving already.
Bye,
Giles
x
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------------------------------
Date: Tue, 25 Apr 2000 12:49:03 +0100
From: Nick.Dastoor@guardian.co.uk
Subject: Toast: Hot buttered bell ends
Sorry - this probably counts as list abuse. Y'know - like abuse in the calling
names sense, not the way in which one abuses one's body.
I think toast SUCKS. I'm only on this list to tell you all how much I hate
toast.
When someone says "Oh don't worry I'll just have some toast" it makes me want to
scream. People pretend it's a satisfying meal substitute but it's NOT.
Especially if it's brown toast. What a horror! Give me plump, generously
buttered fresh bread any day of the week.
Also, eat more biscuits.
I don't mind talking about the Jamaican kind of toast though. I remember an
edition of Record Breakers in which Roy Castle set about establishing the
world's fastest rapper. I forget the name of the man who broke the record (Tim?
No, I don't think that was it) but he was actually a toaster. It got me
thinking about the technical differences between the two styles, and why
toasting never swept the world in the way its little cousin did. The last I
heard, Rebel XD of Chicago, Illinois had overtaken the toaster, rapping 674
syllables in 54.9 seconds. This represents 12.2 syllables per sec.
Nick xx
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 25 Apr 2000 13:04:48 +0100 (BST)
From: Linda Kerr
Subject: Toast: toast!
Dear toaster
Sitting at home, waiting for a new washing machine, and hoping, oh hoping
that they bring a free toaster..
Although I DO NOT share Nick's view on toast and bread (it shouldn't be an
either/or - we can embrace both, I feel, although it might get a bit
sticky), I would like to share a choice tv moment when Jools Hollnad went
to visit Lee Scratch Perry. Jools pointed to a old battered silver object
sitting on top of Lee's garden wall.
"Why do you have that there, Lee?" said Jools, imeddiately regrettign
saying the words as they left his mouth..
On the proper taost front, croutons are toast, especially in the 1970s,
when they were introduced to the British public in this non-threatening
way.
Linda
xx
PS I may have told the LSP story before.
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 25 Apr 2000 05:50:09 -0700 (PDT)
From: =?iso-8859-1?q?Michael=20Jones?=
Subject: Toast: Eat my crusts
Hmmm, I feel an urge to align myself with the anti-toast element
(i.e. Nick).
Toast has always been something of a disappointment to me; between
the extremes of carbon-black dry toast (enjoyable for the sooty
cladding it gives your tongue, and the near-comedic sonics of the
munch) and the butter-saturated sogginess of lightly-tanned
thickslice (all oozy and early-morning belly-filling), there's a vast
realm of unsatisfying toast experience.
There's the chore of Making It Yourself. It's not often I turn down
a slice or two, if someone else has gone to the trouble of firing up
the grill (side-issue: gas grill or toaster? The latter produces
more consistent results, but the former seems to have the capacity to
propel toast into the ambit of Proper Food), but I can hardly ever be
arsed to make toast. Margarine/butter-spreading is a vale of tears.
Get it wrong and the heart of the bread is cutting up like a Third
Division football ground in a January before undersoil heating.
Occasionally it can tear completely, which is right up there with
Snapping A Shoelace and Misplacing Your Keys in the pantheon of
maddening pre-commute activity.
It can be a tiresome thing to eat too. Two mouthfuls and you've got
the point - may as well throw the rest away. Which is *wasteful* and
angers the Little Baby Jesus.
As far as toppings go - well, I can't think much beyond marmalade for
sticky, sugary goodness. Perhaps one of those flavoured
Nutella-style spreads. But again - what's the toast contributing
here, other than a pliant base? Surely there are better things you
could spread it on? Has anyone tried a Nutri-Grain bar smothered in
hazelnut dip? Was it good? Or did you feel dirty afterwards?
Muffins, crumpets, houmous, cheese - dos and don'ts of combination,
anyone?
I think my favourite form of toast is milquetoast. I like the way
you can boss them around.
Mike.
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------------------------------
Date: Tue, 25 Apr 2000 09:27:15 -0400
From: Matthew Hintz
Subject: Toast: soggy and brown describes a lot of things.
Hello,
My name is Matthew, and I am new to this list. I am 21 and live
just outside New York City--the Big Apple, not the Big Toast. I have
joined this list to work out some of my issues with the foodtype; my
problems might go back to my mother. For instance, she insists that
setting the oven to 400 degrees and setting the toast on the rack makes
better toast. While it is often delicious, I fear that she may have made
this technique up really _to avoid crumbs from the toaster on the counter_.
Is that natural?
My favorite toppings pass through phases. Historically, butter
(trad), goat cheese, honey, Nutella, hummus. However, my love of the last
two on that list is somewhat absolut--I would spread them on nearly any
edible (and some not) surfaces. Perhaps the toast is just an excuse.
Either I am avant garde or just an aberration.
Matthew
Stolen Kisses
http://stolenkisses.tripod.com
'I'm jealous of the rain.'
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 25 Apr 2000 14:46:14 -0700 (PDT)
From: =?iso-8859-1?q?Tim=20Hopkins?=
Subject: Toast: Beyond the Sunbeam
Dicky Knee wrote:
> I don't mind talking about the Jamaican kind of
> toast though. I remember an
> edition of Record Breakers in which Roy Castle set
> about establishing the
> world's fastest rapper. I forget the name of the
> man who broke the record but he was actually a
> toaster.
That was Daddy Freddy, a UK-based chatter, and not a
very good one at that. I seem to remember his
super-fast technique being little more than going
badabadbadabadabadabada very very fast. Presumably the
current world record holder just rolls his rs like
Jackie Wilson or Kevin rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRowland at
the start of "There There, My Dear". I can't imagine
any other way of fitting twelve syllables into a
second. Although, as all dumb hippies have learned
from the Beatles, one second is a long time. Huh.
Anyway, if it's fast style toasting you want, I should
recommend the brilliant 'Horsemove (Giddi Up)' by
Horseman, which I seem to remember being on Raiders
Records. A classic, based musically around the Bonanza
theme and lyrically about placing a bet on (I think)
the Grand National. The Ranking Miss P used to play it
all the time.
> It got me
> thinking about the technical differences between the
> two styles, and why
> toasting never swept the world in the way its little
> cousin did.
And what did you come up with?
Linda wrote:
> On the proper taoist front, croutons are toast,
> especially in the 1970s,when they were introduced to
> the British public in this non-threatening way.
I'm sorry but we surely have to draw the line between
toast and fried bread. Little squares of toast, while
pleasing to the eye and the palate, are simply not
croutons. Croutons, conversely, are fried bread and as
such cannot be toast.
A far more interesting issue is the status of the
Breville (or similar) toasted sandwich. Now, I haven't
had a Breville toastie for a while but my folks had a
breville sarnie toaster in the 1980s. Now, you'd
butter two slices of bread, place on butter side DOWN
on the heated plate of the Breville, pile your
sandwich ingredients onto the unbuttered side of that
slice place the next slice butter side UP (ie pointing
away from the filling and towards the other hot
plate). One would then close the Breville and wait for
the emergence of delicious snack.
But, friends, can we really count this as a toasted
sandwich? The bread is cooked, certainly, but I
contend that this bread is FRIED!. A fried bread
sandwich. Not toast. Simply not toast. I think we
should write to Breville to suggest they re-think
their marketing in order to avoid offending the
toastophile community.
Here in subtropical Rotherhithe we have a Rowenta
Fresco two-slot. It's not bad, although for even
toasting I find it beneficial to pop the toast halfway
through a toasting and swap the slices between slots.
It's kind of analogue but it's OK.
The toasted sandwiches (real toasties, mind, not some
fried nastiness) in The Mitre, London's greatest
hidden pub secret, have gone up from one pound to one
pound and fifty pence.
Someone should write a letter.
Oh, should I not have mentioned The Mitre's toasties
until you've all had a chance to taste them?
Tim
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------------------------------
Date: Tue, 25 Apr 2000 17:11:33 -0500
From: Kent Andersen
Subject: Toast: Intro.
Hello.
I just want to introduce myself by way of sharing a recent toast
discovery. I've not yet completed all the archival toast discussions
that I got upon joining this list so forgive me if I repeat anything
that has been said so far. It's just that with all my note taking I
can't possibly get through the Toast archive in a reasonable time.
Anyway, on to my discovery:
For a long time now... well, 6 months or so, I've been toasting a bread
manufactured by Pepperidge Farm. I live in Alabama. I know they have
this bread all over the states, but I don't know if it goes overseas or
elsewhere. The specific product I've been toasting is their "Potato
Bread." It's made with potatoes and eggs and has a sort of yellowish
color. It is delicious with cinnamon and sugar, my personal favorite
way to eat toast. The potatoes and eggs in the bread give the Toast a
particular weight and heft that I've not found with any other bread.
Toasted, it is heavy and solid. Manly, you might say. The toast comes
out firm and solid and, in the most ideal circumstances, parts of the
bread have the texture of a well fried egg. Coated with cinnamon and
sugar, this is a real treat.
Well. The weight of this bread leads me to believe that it's not very
healthy and, perhaps more disturbingly, if one eat lots of it (in the
half a loaf range), one tends to have excessive amounts of odorous gases
from the lower regions. That's not good. It stinks. bad.
I solved the gas problem by limiting myself to no more than four pieces
and lots of water. I don't know why the water helps, but it does. The
health problem I didn't know how to cure. So a recent trip to the
grocery lead me to the "Lite" breads put out by Nature's Own. I picked
up the Premium White bread that is 98% fat free. Well, lets just say
that it's pretty much free of anything. Toasted, it has the consistency
of of air-puffed balsa wood. I don't know if there is such a thing, but
imagine sugar puffs without the sugar, rice crispy treats without the
marshmallow, or other things without anything moist and hearty. The
toasted Nature's Own, to put it plainly, is not only fat-free, it's
heft-free, and taste-free.
With the first bite I longed for my decidedly more expensive Potato
Bread.
The lesson: don't toast anything "lite" and don't compromise your
principles for price and health. It's not worth it.
Live long in Toast.
Kent
Birmingham, Alabama
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 26 Apr 2000 16:44:54 +0100
From: Mark Casarotto
Subject: Toast: toast: toast: toast: etc...
Hi pets.
If you attach a piece of buttered toast (butter side up) to a cat's back and
drop the cat out of a window, will it stop inches above the ground, repelled
by the earth rather than allowing itself to contradict 2 of the most
immovable of nature's laws?
I haven't dropped any toast for ages. Mainly because I use ToastClamp(tm), a
rather nifty invention of mine which attaches to one's cuff (buttonholes ARE
necessary) and holds the toast in a vice-like grip. Imagine the bits on the
edge of your Breville which stick out and get all crusty. Like that.
ToastClamp(tm) is available online at www.toastclamp.com
.
But seriously folks ("Isobel Campbell's not fat - you should see the mother
in law" etc.), I need some toast-centric advice. As a new householder who,
frankly, doesn't have the time to eat all the toast he should, I need to
know what variety of bread I should be buying for optimum results
toast-wise, bearing in mind it's either going to be left around for quite a
while or may even need to be frozen (someone pick up Princess Honey, she's
swooned). And I'm keen to sample a wide variety, leavened, unleavened,
double-leavened with a cherry on top, so fire away - no suggestion too
bizarre...
I never did share my favourite toppings. I Can't Believe It's Not Butter and
Bovril (not too much Bovril - it shouldn't cover more than half the (I can't
believe it's not) buttered area), or, if I'm a bit more peckish, Vitalite
and Ardennes pate. I know many of you will be shocked at my
margarine-preferring antics, but we're talking both ease of use and the fact
I grew up in a margarine family, and it's ingrained on my taste buds. I do
enjoy a good orange marmalade, but savoury comes tops most of the time.
Since I started with a crappy joke, I shall end with one, which tickled my
fancy when I read it on a greetings card a while ago. Do health-conscious
bluebottles partake of I Can't Believe It's Not Shit?
Big gay Mark xxx
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------------------------------
Date: Wed, 26 Apr 2000 23:29:59 +0700
From: oooon
Subject: Toast: To know know know you is to toast toast toast you
toast? me?
honestly i can't remember the last time i had one. which doesn't really
mean long time since my memory is not to be trusted for peanut. we
don't
eat toast here you see? our life and soul are feed by rice. no rice,
no life.
as Thai people say. but it's the 21th century so we do have some bread
stuff around. i remember having a toaster in the house when i was
little.
i enjoyed toasting toast. putting bread in and having toast out is
such a good time for little kid, as i'm sure you all understand.
i used to put in all the bread in the house for fun. i didn't like
eating toast when i was young because it's not soft. but when
i was older light toast became nice. and toast is essential
for a Thai dish - Satay. i like it with a lot of Satay sauce.
if you don't know what a Satay is i'm sorry. it's hard
to describe! some meat on stick? with sauce
and pickle. maybe you can go check it out in any
Thai restaurant, just order some Satay they'll have
toast with it. and if you like spicy stuff, make sure
you try putting some NAM PRIK PAO (a kind of
Thai chilli paste, preferably shrimp one. available
at good Thai/chinese grocery around the world)
on toast. this was how i got into toast actually. it's so good!
make sure you pick the right chilli paste though. some are
quite sweet some are just spicy. get the sweeter one.
not that i don't like butter. especially when it's really
thick. just pure fresh butter with hot strawberry tea.
good enough to wake up for. that's what i picture to
get myself out of bed to work some morning.
is biscuit belong to the Toast Family too?
if so i just had one. biscuit as in the bread you eat with
fried chicken, bun shape, crispy on the outside soft inside.
and scone? scone is wonderful! it's just the thing to nibble on.
even with no cream. this is not such a good idea to talk about
this late. since i must not eat at night now. the other night
just because i talked about food i got extremely hungry
my hands were shakening so badly i had to run to food.
at well after midnight. i'm praying for my waist.
so that it might come back to me. some day.
totally on topic since it's my first poast. no one say anything
about my bad grammar or i will poach you.
toasts,
oon xxx
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 26 Apr 2000 21:25:08 +0100
From: "David Moore"
Subject: Toast: The Elongating Tum Of Mr David Mower
Buona Sera Fellow Bread Heads,
I find TOAST useful for those evenings when one crawls in after a long hard
one at the office too knackered to cook properly. Tonight this resulted in
the consumption of Beans on TOAST, (a topic which has poked its head out in
an earlier poast, but so briefly that I feel confident that this constitutes
neither Repetition Of Topics nor Not Reading All The Previous Poasts
Properly.) The beans have to be Heinz, the bread this time was 2 wholemeal
crusts (Signor Cazzorosso, I recommend brown/wholemeal/granary against plain
old white any day: white just ends up soggy, & it tears, altogether lacking
that satisfying crunchiness which to my mind & palate is the essence of true
toastiness). The bread had also been, yes, previously frozen. There goes
poor Princess Honey Fainting In Coils again. I find a brief spell in the
freezer in no way deleterious to the subsequent toasty effect, & when other
members of the household are avoiding yeast products, necessary to avoid
accidental consumption of the odd blue spotted or hairy slice when a loaf
takes too long to use up.
A vague memory of a lesson on a good balance of essential amino acids &
raising biological value led to a sprinkling of grated cheddar on the beans,
a desire for enhanced flava promted a squirt of HP sauce as well. Not as
exotic as Madam Oooooooooooon's Nam Prik Pao, but it does have a bit of
French around its neck. Oo la la.
A tribute to the late Lolo Ferrari? I didn't even know she was dead!
What does the list feel about Bruschetta?
Yours in TOAST,
David Moore
Chelmsford, UK
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 26 Apr 2000 22:56:34 -0400
From: "Michele Waggner"
Subject: Toast: Regarding Bruschetta
The toasty Mr. David Moore mentioned Bruschetta and I was called to comment.
I do not know what the official ruling on this might be (I look to the
original Toast Masters and Mistresses on this) but should it not yet be
codified, I would hazard to say that Bruschetta, while it is indeed
constructed around a slice of toasted bread, does not *quite* fit into the
Toast category.
I base this on the manner in which Bruschetta is commonly presented here on
this side of the Ocean, bearing in mind the irreverent American leaning
towards excess. To wit: a plate arrives at one's table bearing a mountain
of diced tomatoes and onions, olives and all manner of vegetation up to and
including pickled eggplant (aubergine) and any other items which might be
suspected to have come from the soil of Italy. One is forced to use both
fork and knife to scrape this mound of excess away in order to find the
treasure-nugget of toasted bread within. When one finally "clears the deck"
as it were, he or she is likely to find that the Toast itself has lost its
crisp delicacy and lies like a sodden slab of supermarket breadstuff.
Bountiful? Yes. Colorful? Certainly. But I can only think that any dish
that so scorns its very basis, preferring to tart it up like a common whore
with all manner of frivolity so that one can no longer see nor savor the
simple beauty at its heart... well, I submit that *that* dish no longer
deserves to bear the proud (yet never vain) name of Toast.
While I realize that all of us here probably agree that the Toast experience
is enhanced by the addition of various condiments, spreads &etc., there is a
line past which one should not go. I myself would certainly draw the line
before Bruschetta as I know it.
Please understand that I am in no way casting aspersions on Bruschetta, nor
urging that it be in any way belittled. It is fully deserving to take its
own place amonst the gustatory delights of the world. Let us see how it
fares under its own name as it travels the roads of time. But Toast,
Ladies and Gentlemen, is such a special thing! It has endured in all its
simple beauty for so long. Can we, here united, not work to preserve its
Purity?
Begging your indulgence,
- --Michele
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End of toast-digest V1 #4
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