This page is actually working again now. Really, I don't deserve you.
Because the Sinister WWW pages were created by aliens from Alpha Centauri (who prefer that chic retro-1973 WWW page design effect), it's possible to beam your own thoughts direct to your list mummy's brain via the Sinister mobile phone. The challenge is to make it short and snappy, because you've only got 160 characters to do it in - maybe a haiku, or something really very rude and punchy. The most satisfyingly funny (or filthy) encapsulation of existence at the turn of the century will get a prize, although I'm not sure what it is yet, but rest assured that it'll be crap.
You're not likely to get much of a response I'm afraid (because it takes about 10 minutes to type an email address into a phone keypad), but if you just want the satisfaction of knowing you made my phone beep, or my cheeks blush in a meeting, you can send your message below, and it should arrive within about 30 seconds. You only have 160 character I'm afraid (watch the counter) so make sure you say who you are at the beginning of the message - the email address doesn't get sent to the phone.