17th January 2002:
email@example.com: wait a minute, where's me jumper sillustrated by Katarina Karlsson
" I figure that I must have a pretty easy life. The most pressing decision I am struggling with at the moment is about my fat cat. No not my own pet managing director of utility company, but my actual fat cat. Basically I was given a cat by a friend who was moving and could no longer keep a cat in their new home. The cat is 12 years old, and fairly fat. Not completely round, but when she runs her belly swings left and right and rubs the floor so it is partially bald.
The thing is that she is 12 years old, and you don't have to know her for long to realise the only thing she likes is food. So should I put her on a diet? She can spend her twilight years always hungry and annoyed with me. Or she could be happy and fat, hey at least it keeps her feet warm when she sits down. I have renamed her Fatty Lumpkin (Tom Bombadil's horse in Lord of the rings, I can't believe they missed him out of the film, philistines) and she seems to like it. "
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