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The Sinister Dimension
ant@fineran.demon.co.uk | | | | | |
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Oriel realised from the moment she walked a few yards away from the over-friendly alien that he was simply talking to thin air. His wild gesturing and vacant stare before had set alarm bells ringing in her head - something definitely wasn't quite right here!
"Go to the blue room; there you will find Kuju..." he continued, although facing in completely the wrong direction. His unusual, waxy voice faded away into the distance but Oriel knew that should she walk back, he would still be jabbering. Being a helpful guide is one thing, but there was a definite misunderstanding on his part as to what lengths it would take to unnerve her in this strange, sunny place.
Confused, she stood a little distance from a shady wall and gazed over the market stalls and the odd colourful people who looked like they were a tiny bit uncomfortable walking as they were in straight lines. Oh, look at that, she thought as she caught sight of a magnificent arching cathedral-palace. It was far away but still it must have been huge.
"Hello, what's your name?" asked a happy female face from out of nowhere almost. She had short black hair and sweetly piercing blue eyes, there at that moment only for Oriel, who responded with a surprised smile and an answer.
"Hi Oriel, I'm Kuju!" the girl said, "Er, you're going the wrong way for the blue room. That is, if you want to go there?"
There was a pretty intimation of hope and expectation upon her young cheeks, yet at the same time, an air of the adult surrounding her. This was in a good way.
"Well, um, I was hoping to just look around, but -" Oriel paused, "Sorry. Can you tell me where we are please?" And before the chance came to agonise over how dumb her last question would undoubtedly have sounded, Kuju laughed and everything was OK.
The two newfound friends went side by side under the shade of the Fativatu tree. They were heading for a different part of the city.
*
At the end of the footpath, there was a noticeable change in the atmosphere. An incredibly stocky man strode confidently past. He was built like a fork lift truck! Oriel and Kuju were so obviously checking him out, but he neither acknowledged them nor cared for their slightly impolite staring. His grubby, flattish facade perhaps concealed such feelings. Oriel felt kind of sorry for him.
"Who was he?"
"Difficult to say nowadays. But you can bet he's fired a big gun more than once!"
"Yikes! Off-duty now though?"
They both chuckled as truly as if the other held the only other position in their world. Macho man crashed noiselessly into a lamppost. Suddenly, there was the sound of skidding tyres and an indication between them to take what might turn out to be a fun extra diversion, because they gently met fingertips.
"Freeze!"
"Rat-a-tat-a-tat!"
"Urgh! Squelch."
Once they had reached the terrible scene, it felt too dangerous to get any closer than the nearest police car. Kuju offered Oriel a drink from her bottle of Canadian spring water, which by now in the evening heat was welcomed warmly.
"Thanks," she said, "This is so scary!"
"Yeah, I'm a bit nervous too! No worries though, best not to think about it."
Kuju's accent was delightful and natural to Oriel, much nicer than everyone else's around here for sure. For a while something was following them that would accompany the melody of her accent with a series of intermittent gibbers. It wore a maroon cape and could only be described as cute, brown and knobbly. When at one crossroads it remained steadfast to it's copycat path, Kuju turned round, swinging her bag with her, and the little fellow must have had a heart attack or something. In a flash it was running away as fast as it could, with a pair of stumpy twig-like arms waving about in the air. This forwardness of approach was held in awe and admiration by Oriel, because it had saved her from what would have been a lonely trek amongst the great unlost. However, what was she to do this late in the day? The sun was about to dip. And like the gravity of last wind for kites, that forever flapping trio of birds would have to drop and sleep sometime.
*
"You have wandered," said one of the duck-faced nobles, "into a dimension to which you are not fully suited." Oriel tried desperately to keep her sniggers from bursting out of her mouth as she knelt guiltily down by Kuju. She had never seen anyone so amusing before! They sat upright on gold chairs, not immodestly she thought, with their deep-set eyes full of composure and their solemn beaks illuminated by candlelight. She remembered how Kuju had told her that whenever she visited that cathedral-palace, she would light a candle for her Nan who died a few years ago. This dimension was actually quite great, thank you very much.
"Hmm," duckman number two pondered out loud, "how did you get here, child?"
"Er, I was playing my little brother on the computer... but I was tired, um -"
"Aah!" he responded in an endearingly high-pitched nasal outburst; clearly the heart of the matter had been reached. Kuju turned and smiled. She had taken her dark grey cardigan off since entering the large bluey room, and now appeared even more liberated and at one with everything. After all, she had taken the effort to infiltrate this unreal domain; to help those like Oriel whose time spent in front of a screen could possibly be put to better use.
"Please let me pass, please let me pass..."
A tall priestly creature had got stuck in the doorway and was doing a dance for some reason. His jig contrasted markedly to what seemed on the surface at least to be a refined or genteel nature, but the tag line left a lot to be desired.
Duckman number one gave Kuju a small key after disconnecting it from a ring of several glittery keys by his robe. She read the label on the other side.
"Remote wanking machine? What's that?"
"Ah, erm, nothing!" he blushed, "I'd better take that. This is the right key, child."
Kuju took it hurriedly and with Oriel managed to dislodge the poor person by the door, who meandered majestically the other way down the corridor apparently forgetting his troubles.
"Have you got a job?" Kuju asked as they stretched out.
"No," said Oriel, "not yet."
"I tell ya, the best place to work is a supermarket!"
"Like stacking shelves!"
"That's it... you can just switch your brain off and hide somewhere."
They were outside again and the stars were dressed a hundred times brighter than Oriel had ever seen in her life. She knew she was supposed to go home, but Kuju had been so kind, it hurt to leave.
Camp space droids with nametags filed out of a building from the future, while the two pals kept talking about whatever hit them en route towards the main entrance. One droid had a metal moustache and was called 'Major Domo'.
"Hey, we made it!"
Inside, it purred like a goldfish bowl full of technology, and modern coloured lights were hard at work. Through the open window emerged the top half of a figure. It was the beefy bloke they had encountered earlier!
"Is this Gamma Quadrant four!?" he asked gruffly and with the utmost emergency - in his eyes were dreams of monsters and in his arms was a rocket launcher.
"Sorry darling, this is Honey's huge computer station."
Comprehension sunk in merely seconds later and off he ran to his destiny. Whereas Oriel's fate conceivably lay right in front of her, his would be more uncertain. Explaining about the master computer and sharing her plans for a time in the near future, Kuju unlocked the door to the back room with a cheerful expression.
"See you next week then Oriel!"
"See you Kuju!"
On departing the Sinister Dimension, she was too dazed to believe any of what happened, despite carrying the bottle of water to prove it. Soon they'd reunite in the dimension of you and I, and my God would the butterflies come. There'd be the anticipation for grabbing a bite to eat together. Who knows what after that?
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