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Borderline
T J Roberts | | | | | |
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1
Billy didn't even want to look. He moved his eyes rapidly in their
sockets, without moving his head so that it would be less obvious to
Nina. He focused on the top of the wall where it met the ceiling,
then the corner of the bookcase, then a picture of Joe Strummer which
he had pulled from a magazine and stuck up on the wall a few months
ago. He didn't let his gaze rest on one spot for too long, and he
certainly didn't let it stray anywhere near the large mirror which he
and Nina were stood in front of, both of them naked as the day they
were born.
But Nina wasn't stupid, and she could tell exactly what Billy was
doing.
"Just look, Billy", she said.
Billy didn't really have a hang up about his body, he wasn't one of
those people who got undressed in the dark or anything. It wasn't the
idea of looking at his body that bothered him, just the idea of
looking at his body beside Ninas. He was afraid that he would soil
her purity, that his ugliness would somehow detract from her beauty.
But Nina had insisted, and so he looked.
The mirror on the wall was an old one with a gilded frame, and was
big enough for Billy to see the whole of both their bodies, from head
to toe, every blemish in clear view. At first it was exactly as he'd
feared, a horrific sight. But the longer he looked, the more his
perception altered. He realised that it could work both ways. Instead
of him making Nina uglier, he was becoming more beautiful from just
being with her. And Billy knew that he was absorbing her perfection
below the surface as well. He could feel her strength and tolerance
flowing into him even as they stood there. Billy didn't know if this
had been the point of the exercise, the reason Nina had him standing
there in the first place, but it had worked for him. In the mirror he
saw Ninas reflection break into a smile, and looking at his own
reflection he saw he was smiling too.
And Billy was ready to face the outside world again.
2
The door of the building Billy and Nina lived in opened directly onto
the main street of the town. As Billy stepped out onto the pavement
he glanced cautiously to his left then his right. The street was dead
straight and you could see a long way into the distance in both
directions. But on this grey autumn morning there was not a soul in
sight. Billy, despite his earlier confidence, was quite glad, not
feeling up to a confrontation just yet. He pulled his jacket sleeves
over his hands, feeling the cold even though it was only October, and
set off on the short walk to Costcutters.
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