#!/bin/bash # # Total up list crushes # Hack hack # Note below about uniq. # # CRUSHLIST="/home/missprint/crush/crushes" LOG="/home/missprint/crush/log" MONTH=`date +%m-%Y` # See if only display top X crushees; if display all, don't display # postamble if [ "$QUERY_STRING" = "" ] then POSTAMBLE= TOPCRUSH="cat -" TOPWORDS= else POSTAMBLE=yesplease TOPCRUSH="head -$QUERY_STRING" TOPWORDS="Top $QUERY_STRING" # Override for now (sigh) # TOPCRUSH= # TOPWORDS= fi cat < Sinister List Crushes

Sinister: Are You Lonesome Tonight?

Current $TOPWORDS List Crushes

EOF if [ "$POSTAMBLE" ] then echo "See all votes" else echo "See top 10 votes and full instructions" echo "(top 5)" echo "(top 20)" fi cat < Here's the latest results of who's being crushed on - for all time and for just this month. Mmmmm.

EOF # Haven't a CLUE why I need to have my own uniq binary # Crushes of all time awk '{print $2}' $CRUSHLIST | sort | uniq -c \ | sort -k1,1rn -k2,2 | $TOPCRUSH \ | awk '{printf("\n",$1,$2)}' cat <

Num of votes

$TOPWORDS Crushees

EOF # Crushes this month awk "/$MONTH"'\ *\**$/{print $2}' $CRUSHLIST | sort | uniq -c \ | sort -k1,1rn -k2,2 | $TOPCRUSH \ | awk '{printf("\n",$1,$2)}' cat <

Votes this month	$TOPWORDS Crushees
%d	%s

The last 3 crush votes were for:
EOF tail -3 $CRUSHLIST | awk '{printf("%s
",$2)}' cat <
In all, Miss Crush has matched a total of EOF grep MATCH $LOG | wc -l | awk '{print $1}' cat < listees who voted for each other. Let the love flow.
Peek at Miss Crush
EOF if [ "$POSTAMBLE" ] then echo "See all votes" else echo "See top 10 votes and full instructions" echo "(top 5)" echo "(top 20)" fi cat <How to register a crush
Here's the quick explanation:

Send the command register in the body of an email. to misscrush@missprint.org

When I send you a code back, send me the command:
crush code email-address-of-your-crush

Note also that if you've just forgotten your code, you can send the register command again and I'll send it back.
If you need to check for your own or your crush's email address, go to the bottom of this page. EOF if [ "$POSTAMBLE" ] then cat <Eh? List Crush?
Hello, Miss Crush here, an employee at Miss Print's Printing House. I run the list crush for those randy little devils on the Sinister list. The list crush was invented by Big Stu a long time ago so that people on the list could vote anonymously for their latest object of fascination or desire on the list. I'm very please to be announce that it's back, less fraudulent, and a bit more cheeky.
You're supposed to vote for someone based on the crush-worthiness of their words, so no sneaking over to the photo gallery before you vote, or, god forbid, the bodyparts page.
The list crush now runs under strict BPI rules to prevent fraudulent use and uncrushworthy behaviour. To vote you need to do this via email, so I can check if you're cheating or voting for your hamster, and you vote for a list member by their email addresses. I'm very strict, but discipline can be sexy. Both you and your crush must be on the list and not in the nursery. You also can only vote for one person at a time. You can however change your mind and replace your current obsession with someone new, but you can only change your vote once a day. To find out how to register your own vote, mail me at misscrush@missprint.org with the word help in the body of your mail message, first line (i.e. not the subject field).
When you're ready to vote, mail me again with the word register in the same way. I send you back a special secret service code, which you return to me with your vote by saying:
crush code email-address-of-your-crush
to me. If you ever forget your code, just send me register again. It's not hard, honestly.
If you don't know someone's full email address you can search for it below, as long as you know a part of it.
Here's the good bit. Your votes always stay anonymous, except in the following case: if you vote for someone who's voted for you already, then I make a match, draw a big ring round your names in lipstick, and mail you both telling you you're matched. It's ok, no-one else will know :) You then blush wildly, mail each other, loosen your clothing and get stuck in.
By the way, I'm still being tested: I'm a new employee. If something goes wrong and you've read all my help instructions and still can't figure it out, mail Honey. EOF fi # Search for an email address cat <Search for an email address
Use this to look for an email address subscribed to the list. You can enter any search term and it looks for any addresses containing whatever you want.

EOF cat <

Click to go... to the main page
Table Service by Honey EOF exit